Love Lost, Love Gained, Love Broken
by Love Doctor
Summary: Naruto has finally mustered the courage to ask Hinata about the confession. Both reveal their true feelings, but when a sudden, harsh leap comes their way, what will happen to them both?
1. The Beginning

Hi guys! Soooo, this is actually my first Naruhina fanfic. I mean, I've done Harry Potter and Soul Eater (which reminds me, need to upload) but I'd never done naruhina before (And I'm a bigger Naruto fan than a SE fan). It's weird, I've loved this pairing for so long. Wonder why I started now? BAAAHHH, whatever. Anyways, I'm pretty new here. Actually, this is my first upload (ahaaaa..ha..). I should've joined earlier. Ah whatever. Enjoy~ :]

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Hinata stood at the corner of the training ground, the warm nostalgia filling the air around her. It had been so long since she had trained here, those long, grueling days. It saddened her a bit. As time passes, things change, and those peaceful and happy moments seem so far away, as if they had flashed by. Beneath her, the grass swiveled at the motion of her feet. She was seventeen now – and an elite jounin. The years she spent training, countless efforts backfiring, all seemed to pay off and now here she was, an elite kunoichi. Yet, some changes are faster than others. It seemed like only yesterday when Naruto returned to the village when in reality, it had been three years – to the date.

She sat down on a log and wrapped her jacket closer around her. It was getting chilly. The sun was starting to set and a faint pink-orange glow set across the sky. The wind blew lightly on her face, as if it were a saying hello. She watched as the small and funny-shaped clouds moved quietly and softly. From a distance, she heard the crunch of feet on grass. She didn't bother to look up.

It grew closer and louder, with the crunch echoing in her ears. At last, she looked behind her to see a calm Naruto, taking a stroll down memory lane as well. Embarrassed, she flung her head around. Her face started to turn a light pink, then a darker pink, then eventually turning into a deep red. She had loved him for so long and she always wondered why. A deep admiration lasting years, perhaps a decade now, perhaps longer. Yet she never lost this feeling. It grew stronger and stronger silently. She had thought those years he was gone that she had lost those rowdy feelings but they boomed instead. Now, even at seventeen, she still loved him- that boisterous, powerful, persevering ninja.

Nevertheless, she said her faint greetings.

"Hello, Naruto-kun." She spoke faintly. No stuttering. She had gained courage and confidence.

"Hey, Hinata," he replied in his husky voice. "Can I sit down?"

She fluttered.

"Yeah, um, sure. Why not?" Her head was still down, face away from view. Somehow, the tips of her fingers had found their way to each other again.

"I saw you walk here, you know. Not, that I'm a _stalker_ or –you know, anything." He squabbled. He brushed his neck with his hands and continued awkwardly. "So…how's your team? I heard they were pretty good."

"Um, yeah. They're doing pretty well. One of them reminds me of you –erm, uh, sort. Of." She mumbled. It seemed that the members of year had been very excellent, perhaps genius. Most were now jounin and only eighteen with their own team of genin – just like her. "So…uh, um, not to, uh, bother, but uh –" she turned redder, "why did you, uh, follow…me?"

"Oh, uh that. Well, umm…Sasuke is still at large.."

"I'm doing my best to help. I'm s-sorry if I've done anythi-"

"No, no, no, it's not that. You're…incredible." He said with an exasperated breath.

Again, she fluttered. The ninth cloud passed through the horizon – she had been counting.

"You said that…"

"Years ago, eh? Ahhh, it's been so long!" He threw his arms into the air and stretched fondly. Although, his expression quickly became gentle again. "Remember that day with Pein? When I couldn't move and he was going to kill me, but you came down and covered me?"

"Ahh…" she was trembling. _Aaahh…he – he remembers! I – the- confession! Oh no!_

"And you said those things about how my – my smile and the other stuff, and how you would die protecting me… and how you said you were being selfish by going there on your own free will...and that, that…" he went on. By then, he was the same color as the sky, a darker orange-red-pink. Hinata mustered up the courage to look at him slowly with her trembling eyes. He was sweating oddly and his fingers were at constant motion. She closed her eyes and prayed, hoping he wouldn't remember that one phrase that she uttered..

"that, you loved me." he ended. As of she were a hot bath, Hinata was very warm, her feelings of fear, embarrassment, love, anticipation, and shyness exploding in different directions.

"I- I –I. Na- Naruto.."

"I only have one question. Why?"

"Be-because. I – I knew the- the pain. To –to be rejected mu –multiple times by people. To –to be seen as a – an outsider. Someone who – who didn't be –belong. I was so ne-negative but – but you weren't. You worked hard to –to prove yourself. To – to be better. And I watched you. I gained my ins –inspiration from you. I made a vow to be better like you. I admired you from a -afar. Even if I knew that my father would no -not approve. When I first saw you, I had faith in you. So I knew that I had to have faith in my - self, too" as she spoke, her voice lost its fear and she spoke in utter courage and nostalgia. "I saw your improvements and told myself, _I must be like Naruto-kun. I musn't give up!_ But…but…I was always scared. When I saw your smile, it found strength. When I heard your voice, I found hope. When you spoke your words and ways, it gave me courage. I guess, I had always admired you. You had what I didn't and that always gave me hope. And I don't when or why or how, but my heart found out too. You fed it courage and hope and strength. I guess...I…I…"

The wind whispered amongst the trees lightly. There was a certain hush that fell over the distance. The sky had turned a dark blue and the stars had awoken. The two sat on the log, side by side, without an utter. Hinata, still trembling lightly from the words she spoke closed her eyes tightly. She thought to herself, _What did I just do? The confession…then this...kill me now! Naruto…he must think I'm an idiot. A total idiot. _

At last the once brimming ninja got up, calm and collected. His eyes were in a trance, a slow and unwavering state of thought. He began to walk against the wind, towards the lights of the village. He held his fists clenched and his footsteps heavy.

Hinata watched as her love, her desire, her strength walked away darkly. She felt broken and embarrassed by her brash speech. Her light colored eyes were full of regret and remorse, for she knew that she had shattered her greatest happiness. She knew that he felt confused, dazed and lost. This was Naruto. Despite everyone else saying he was the greatest unpredictable ninja, she always knew him. She felt it inside her heart. It was like her heart saw his, reading it, caring for it, loving it. It had always been so close, and now it drifted to the light. She got up, too and started on another way; out of the village. She needed to reflect on her actions. She needed to rethink on whether this love and admiration was for the better. She didn't want to burden Naruto. She wanted to be his support; if she were ever to be his support, she could not trouble him any longer.

Her feet felt heavy as she neared a river. It flowed so peacefully, as if it had no worries. It wasn't turbulent like others. Calm and dreamily, the waves moved forth with grace. She touched the perfection, the serenity. If only she had this serenity. She did, once. But it was never a sure serenity. It always scared her. Her love for Naruto had been her serenity. But what happens, now that he knows? Her serenity had been an admiration, and an unrequited love. She loved him silently and thoughtfully and her peace had been disrupted. She threw a rock in, and for a moment, the calm waters twisted in confusion. But somehow, it found its peace again. The rock had sunk down, unseen, and away. For a moment, the rock had broken the calmness, but the river had found peace again. But, how?

How could she face Naruto now? She would avoid him, hide herself, perhaps make a disguise. Anything to avoid facing him. Avoid. She had always avoided things. And now, in choosing not to avoid her feelings, it had backfired. Did avoiding have so much consequences? She looked up at the stars, closed her eyes and prayed. Tired, she got her feet, and realized that in her short time, there was a creek flowing already. She smiled thoughtfully.

As she walked back, the rain began to fell. It had been a horrible day. The clouds had gathered quickly since the sun set. It rained harder on her, but she didn't bother to raise her jacket hood. She felt downcast, and the rain amplified her feelings. When she was almost at the gates, she saw her fellow ninja looking worried. She waved her hand up in the air, head tilted to one side.

"Hinata – there you are!" Kiba exclaimed. "Oi! You said you were joining us for dinner today! We've been searching for you for an hour! Where've you been?"

"Yeah, c'mon! We're hungry! Let's go!" Sakura added.

In a flash, Hinata rushed over to the others and joined them. "Sorry, I was….reflecting."

"Reflecting?" Ino asked. "About what?"

"Uhm, nothing. It's uh nothing." Hinata noticed that they were all wet. So was she. "We should hurry, the rain is falling harder."

And so, Sakura, Kiba, Shino. Choji, Ino, Neji, Tenten, Rock Lee and herself rushed through the rain. Finally, they arrived outside a restaurant. None of them had been there, but no matter. They all entered in anyways.

"Surprise!" they all yelled out. "Happy Birthday!" She had forgotten it was her birthday today. The restaurant was decked out with party décor. Streamers hung from the ceiling, the tables where all decorated. In the midst she spotted Kurenai-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Tsunade-sama, Shikamaru, her sister, Guy-sensei, but no Naruto. Inside, she felt a little broken. Nevertheless, she joined the party. Not seventeen, eighteen. They ate and talked, joked and laughed. But no Naruto. _I guess he really hates me now. I shouldn't have said those things._

"Hinata, hey!" Kiba called out. "You okay?" She blushed and nodded.

"I'm fine. I think I need to step out for a bit." She spoke. "I'll be right back." She drifted towards the door and felt the rush of the cold air. It was still raining. She stayed under the overhang, next to the light. She needed to go away so often these days. She enjoyed the breath of fresh air. Just as she was about to enter, she heard the pounding of feet running. It had been the second time today with the footsteps. She paused for a moment, but swung the door open.

"WAIT, HINATA!" a voice yelled out. The voice was clear, precise, perfect. It was Naruto. Hinata gathered herself, and just as she was about to enter, Naruto took her by the hand and grabbed her outside again. Blushing furiously, Hinata looked into his eyes. They were no longer dazed, and confused. They were strong and intent. They had fire, as if they knew exactly what they wanted. Hinata tried to pull away from him, but she failed.

"Na-Naruto-kun.." she stammered, "I'm, I'm sorry!" She bowed swiftly. But Naruto didn't respond. Instead, his hand found her chin, and hoisted her up to a straight position. He was panting like mad, and wet, glistening against the light. His face seemed to inch closer to her. Closer and closer, it came. It came as a sudden dream. _Maybe he's tired and falling! Or maybe I'm imagining! Maybe it's an illusion! Maybe – _but at that moment she felt it. The rush, the staggering passion that came with a kiss. It engulfed her and she closed her eyes tightly. She felt his hands reach her sides and cuddle it with ease. Her body touched his, pressing against one another with force. Her hands found his neck, his lovely neck and, absentmindedly, ran her fingers through his blond, dripping hair.

It felt like heaven. His lips were soft and sweet, luscious to the touch. They yearned for hers, and hers yearned for his. Passionately, they brushed and pushed, as if all emotions were let out, released and finally understood. It was clear now.

He let her go slowly, as if not wanting to depart. She looked at him, no slightly confused.

Naruto blushed, "I…um. I thought about what you said and…it was the same for me. Me liking Sakura, I mean. I never really noticed how you felt. I told Sakura about what you said that day with Pein. She said that everybody had seen it. How you felt – and that I was so oblivious to it. I'm sorry about today. I'd found out that…that I was right all along. That you loved me truly. Not because I was a hero or anything. You loved me for me. For a long time. Sakura said you even loved me when everyone else in the village still rejected me. That got to me the most."

Hinata listened, eyes wide open.

"The time during the chuunin exams with the medicine and the time before my fight with Neji, the time when you fought those people when we searched for the Bikochu, the missions together, and the time you told me that you would die protecting me…it all came to me. How you always believed in me – even when no one else did. I didn't notice it, but you gave me strength too. All those missions together, you always spoke to me, 'Let's do our best.' And somehow, along the way, these little things, these little acts, they stuck to me. And I opened my eyes. I didn't know that, that what I needed was what I wanted too. But I had wanted the wrong thing. I was blind and selfish. I needed you, Hinata. When I realized I needed you, I knew that I wanted you too. Hinata, I want you. I want all of you."


	2. A Harsh Hello

Naruto waited outside Ichiraku Ramen, in hopes of seeing Hinata. He had wanted to see her, but she was always busy. It was nearing the new year and the fresh smell of preparations was in the air. No doubt, Hinata would probably be busy cleaning the house, cooking, perhaps training, etc. He drooled at the thought of her cooking flowing into his mouth, the sensation overpowering his other thoughts. His mind went back to finding Hinata. Nope, not there. From the corner of his eye, he spotted a giant dog leaping through the street. There were surprised shrieks, but nothing short of ordinary.

"Kiba!" Naruto called out. The dog and the boy came towards him and stopped abruptly, a few feet away.

"Yeah?" Kiba answered.

"Have you seen Hinata?"

"I think she went off to fit for her kimono or is sprucing up the house or cooking food or maybe.." Kiba rambled off. "Ah! She went to the flower store to get some…flowers. Go figure."

"Okay! Is she going to be done any time soon?" Naruto responded eagerly.

Kiba shrugged. "Beats me." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Hey, I heard about the 'birthday incident.' Man, you sure know how to get a girl – and you're not even good looking!" Naruto scoffed; Kiba went on. "Damn, running to her in the rain and all...don't worry, everybody knows already."

"Everybody _knows_?"

"Yeah, dork. I thought it was pretty stupid how you guys didn't notice everyone peeking out the window and eavesdropping on the whole convo. I mean, the window was so huge and all. Of course, you were probably all, 'Hinata, I love you! I need you!'" He began to pucker his lips mockingly and wrapped his arms around himself before continuing. "And she was all, 'Oh, Naruto-kun! Oh my!'" This time, Kiba not only puckered and hugged, but batted his eyelashes and swerved his hips side to side. His voice was high-pitched, a joke obviously."Oh, a kiss! More, Naruto more!" Kiba sniggered after finishing his act. "Har har har, guys."

"Oh, shut up." Naruto concluded and walked away. He passed the book store, sad that Old Pervert's books weren't on the front shelf anymore. He sat down on a bench and thought. _Bah, I wonder what Hinata's doing…._

From across the way, he spotted the Yamanaka's Flower Store. Inside, he could finally see Hinata, her long flowing hair and lovely gray-lavender eyes in the dim light. She held a bouquet in one hand, all wrapped up nicely and tied with a bow. She gave an unusually small smile to the cashier and thanked him (possibly) and left the store. Naruto watched with suspenseful eyes. Although really, he didn't really know why he was watching with such suspense. Lately, his mind had been transfixed to her, what she ate, watched, did, when she slept, trained, shopped, etc. It was like every second without her was time wasted. It was an odd sensation. He'd never really felt like this before, even for Sakura. Hinata had taken over his being completely. He thought it weird, the feelings. When she went up and talked with him, he didn't feel the ease he used to feel. He felt sweaty, his palms were clammy, his throat was tight and he couldn't release the right words. _I wonder where all that confidence came from, last week…_he thought to himself. He sighed.

She hadn't seemed to notice him and walked on her usual merry way. Her hair bounced behind her, as if floating on air. He felt warm just looking at her. Her beauty, her radiance, her sweetness all filled her aura. It was a lovely aura of purity that dazzled his brain. Finally, he decided to run up to her.

"Hey Hinata!" Naruto popped up behind her. Startled, Hinata stepped quickly to the side. When she had seen who it was, she turned a crimson red.

"Na-Naruto-kun!" she gasped, holding the bouquet to her heart.

"Oh, come on!" Naruto whimpered. "Call me Naruto! No formalities, okay? I mean, we're going out…right?"

"Errr…." Hinata blushed deeply. "Ahh…we…are?"

"Of course! And one day, we'll get married, be together and have babies! Lots of them!" Naruto blurted out. Hinata's face was now a scarlet rose, her body trembling, as if she were about to swoon. "Ah! I, uh, meant…well! I uh...Hinata? Are you okay?"

She looked sickly and faint. Quickly, Naruto grabbed a hold of her, one arm under her knees, the other around her shoulders. The bouquet was still in her arms, on her chest. She no longer looked red. Rather, she was pale. Pale and sweaty. Her breathing was odd and she felt hot – whether it was from Naruto or something else, we will never know – like a summer's day. By the time he had a grip, she had passed out. He ran to Lady Tsunade, who was free, thanks to no longer being the Hokage. She put Hinata on the bed and examined her.

"Is she okay? Is she fine? How is she doing? I need to know! Lady Tsunade…" he prodded.

"Shut up, will you? She's actually got a slight fever. Looks like she's been working too hard again. Really, this girl needs to lighten her load. First the decorations, then the baking, the cleaning, and the training? She does too much to herself. She must really like you to go through all this." She sighed.

"For me?"

"Yeah, a New Years Party, I heard. To make up for the crappy Christmas I heard you apparently had. What did you do again? Oh, you were in that battle with Sasuke. Reminds me, how was it?"

"Crappy. Don't ask me again."

"Ah. So I heard. Anyways, you'll have to take care of her. Her dad's out of town to visit a family friend. Turns out he's dying and there was a will and Hiashi got jumbled in it all. Poor man. Whatever. Take her to your house. Or theirs. I don't really care. Let her rest in bed, make sure she gets plenty of fluids and sleep, got it?"

"Got it. But, how am I supposed to take her all the way down to my house?"

"You're a smart boy, figure it out. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go out for a while."

"But you're not even Hokage anymore! Since you're the resident medical-nin, shouldn't you stay?"

"Eh. I've got some gambling to do. Anyways, Kakashi's doing a great job being Hokage. I think I'll find him a suitable wife in the clubs."

"Yeah, sure. Try finding yourself a husband first." Naruto scoffed and walked over to Hinata. He stroked her hair sweetly and took her up again. "Now, if _you'll_ excuse _me_, I'm taking her home."

It was a long way to his house, even if it was closer to Granny's hospital. The streets were packed, some with more people, some with less. When he finally arrived at his house, the sun hadn't been as high as before. He was tired and sweaty after carrying her for so long. When he entered, he immediately set her down on his bed and found some uncooked ramen lying around. Quickly, he added hot water and let it settle. He checked to see if she was okay, he had heard coughing. She was still sleeping, twisting around on his bed left and right. He walked up to her and sat down. She looked so weak and vulnerable, her eyes squeezed shut, and her face sweating heavily. She felt warmer than before, much warmer. He scoured his house for a thermometer until he spotted one lying in his bathroom cabinet. He cleaned it thoroughly and took her temperature. 110˚. Much, much higher than before. He clenched his brows together. _Hinata…_

Naruto grabbed a towel and wet it. He set it lightly on her head as she groaned. Every time she would groan or cough, Naruto felt as if a part of him was breaking apart. Every day held a new experience for him. The pieces in his heart than had once been held together so tightly now loosened into shards. The sight of her sickly self almost made him cry. He felt so powerless. He couldn't do anything more to help her. He wanted to create a jutsu, right there and then, to cure her. Anything to remove her from her pain. Although, it did seem odd that her fever was going so high. Naruto felt confused on what to do.

He stayed with her, day and night, watching over her. He was determined not to fall asleep, but fell asleep anyways. When he had woken, it was early morning. The stars were still out and she was in a seemingly peaceful sleep. She had been there for a while now. Two days before, he had carried her here. Yesterday, she coughed and unconsciously threw up. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Naruto looked through the window and back at Hinata. Her mouth was dripping with blood. Frightened, Naruto sprung up and grabbed his clothes.

He carried her once again, only with more vigor. She was fading, fast. Pale and empty. He gathered all his strength and ran to the hospital as fast as he could. He could see her growing much more distant by the second. Halfway through, she coughed up a heap of blood onto the sidewalk. Determined, but worried, Naruto ran faster – with all he could. Every bone in his body was racing to save his heart.

At last they arrived at the hospital. Hinata was quickly taken into the hands of the nurses. They all gathered around her and her gurney. They whispered and yelled things Naruto didn't care for. He only focused on Hinata. Her face was tilted but he saw her try and open her eyes for a second. She was crying.

"I'm sorry, Naruto." She mouthed, and was whisked away in a flash. Naruto stared down the hall and fell to his knees. He tried to stop the tears, but he couldn't. They flowed like a river down his cheeks. They scattered along his face swiftly and heavily. His body was frozen in time, filled with horrible disbelief. When he had at last stood, he could barely keep upright. In his mind, questions ran through, _What kind of fever is this? How could this have happened? Why her? Please don't be tuberculosis. Or, or AIDS or something. No…no…no…This isn't happening! _

Sakura, Kiba, Shino and Neji all rushed into the room.

Neji was screaming with fury, "WHAT HAPPENED?! WHERE IS SHE?! NARUTO!" But Naruto couldn't keep his focus. He was scared. The most frightened had ever been in his life. He waited hours, hours, hours before hearing anything. Every hour was hell. Each minute he waited with much more anticipation than before, and each time, he would try to pick up the pieces of his heart.

Finally, Granny Tsunade came out, weak and tired. It was almost 9 AM. She walked up to Naruto, her eyes filled with weary.

"Sorry, Naruto. Guess it wasn't a small fever." She started.

"What happened? Is she alright? Granny….I need to know!" Naruto shook violently.

"Well, it's sort of…" she trailed.

"What? What?!" Naruto pleaded.

"It's, well, cancer." She finished. "She hasn't had any treatment. She might…die."

"Die?" Naruto repeated.

And his heart broke into a thousand pieces.


	3. Naruto! Naruto! Naruto!

Hinata felt dizzy. The room was blurry and she felt like vomiting at the first sight of a moving object. She was in immense pain, worse than she had ever been in before. Her eyesight caught up a bit, and she realized she was in a hospital room. She checked around to see if anyone was around, but became tired quickly. The pains were frequent. But other than that, she didn't feel much. She wondered if the lump near her chest was important. Lately, she had felt it coming, but she didn't know what to do with it. Now she was in a hospital bed for reasons she had yet to learn.

Although, inside, she knew. Cancer was so common these days. Her mother, her grandfather, her cousin, her aunt, her family friend all had cancer – and died. It wasn't uncommon in her family, but it felt wrong. Just when fate had decided to give her what she wanted, it took her as a sacrifice instead. She felt like crying. Her feelings had been so varied the last few days. From Naruto, to her health, to New Years' preparations. It was crazy.

She heard the door creak open. Turning her head, she saw a blonde patch of hair stick itself through the door. Then came a body, dressed in orange and black.

"Hinata, I –" Naruto started, but Hinata cut him off.

"Naruto-kun, thank you." She spoke. "For taking me here." Hinata smiled wearily from her bed. Naruto fell to her side and stroked her cheek. Hinata giggled.

"Hinata, I, I don't want you to go." Naruto cried. "I want you to stay here, with me. Forever."

"I have cancer, don't I?" she asked softly.

"Yeah…" Naruto looked away. "They said it was a stage…stage four." She could see him trying to hold back the tears. She didn't feel like crying though. She was just tired. After all she had gone through, all she wanted now was a chance to rest. She took Naruto's face by her hand.

"It's going to be okay." She said reassuringly. "Everything is going to be alright. When I go, you can finally have that chance with Sakura."

"But I don't _love_ Sakura! I love _you! You!_"

She could see the tears flowing down from his eyes. They gushed down with force so that Hinata couldn't help but feel down. She closed her eyes and meditated. She reflected on all she had gone through to hear the words Naruto had just said. Memories flushed back to her, starting from her childhood to now. The days of training hard, working hard, being rejected, seeing inspiration from Naruto, following his suit, the missions they partnered in together, and her finally saying her feelings. They all seemed so frightening to do back then. But now, as she neared the end, they all came as triumphs. Each one of them, built to her pride. She didn't regret anything anymore, but instead, appreciated everything.

By the time her eyes had opened, Naruto was still mumbling on her bed, head down. She had a wet spot on her bed now, something she hadn't anticipated for. She giggled. Naruto looked up.

"Naruto, you're wetting the bed!" she whispered. Naruto couldn't help but laugh too. It was mixture of melancholy and laughter. Everything was going so wrong, but everything felt so right. To be with Naruto, to laugh with him in unison was a lovely feeling, beyond her wildest imagination. Even if she was going to die now, she would die happy.

The sun was high in the sky the next time Naruto returned. Before then, she became quite bored with laying in bed. She knew she couldn't take moving that much, but she felt so bored of it all. So, she watched the birds outside playfully make a nest on the tree. There were two of them, one blue and one red. _Odd_, the she thought. _Different species mating freely? Ahh…it's so cute, though. _

Thoughtfully, she paid attention to their build. Once, a particularly large stick had fallen all the way down to the ground with the red bird. She didn't know what happened next, for the window was only so big and she could only see so much from her place. All she knew was that eventually, both birds came back up, with the big stick, and threw it into the pile.

Naruto came in with a bowl of miso soup in his hands. He set it down on the table beside her bed and plopped down on a chair. For a while, he waited while Hinata ate her soup in silence. When she finished, she set it down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you."

"Woah, you would've never done that before." Naruto blushed.

"Yes." Hinata spoke. "I feel like I have to be better."

"You don't need to do anything other than feel better. Granny's taking you to chemotherapy tomorrow and we –"

"I'm not going." Hinata interrupted.

"What?" Naruto turned his head.

"I said, I'm not going."

"But, you're going to die if you don't go!"

"I'm only going to loose myself from all the chemo, anyways." Hinata looked down. "I'd rather die myself than live as someone else."

"Hinata, I need you to go through this." Naruto looked at her sternly. Hinata sighed. She really didn't want to go through this. Stage four meant she was going to die, right? Why try to prevent something that you knew was going to happen? Even if she was only nineteen, she still lived a particularly long life. Nineteen and a few days isn't a bad time.

"Chemotherapy scares me." Hinata lied, turning away.

"Hinata, chemotherapy isn't going to destroy you. It's going to be okay. So you'll lose some hair too, whatever. As long as you're alive. That's all I want."

In truth, Hinata didn't really know what she wanted. Chemotherapy didn't scare her, but the fact that she might die at any moment did. At this rate, all someone could do was wait, wait for death. Why go through chemotherapy when you already know your fate? You can't prevent it anymore, so why try? Hinata didn't want to give up on life. But she felt like, doing something that would cause Naruto more pain after her death was selfish. She wanted to stay with Naruto, yes, but she wouldn't want to go through everyday thinking she was an even bigger burden to him than she is now.

"Uhn. I'm still not going. I'm going to live my life out on this bed." Hinata playfully added.

"You really have gotten bolder! Ugh. Why stay cooped up in this bed?"

"You've forgotten that I am at a stage four." Hinata scrambled into her know-it-all face. "I'm not going anywhere. Although…" Hinata hinted, "I do like the extra attention."

"Now you're really not Hinata." Naruto joked. "She would never have said these things with so much brash."

Naruto was right. She was brash. But she wanted to be his playful toy, his red bird.

"Yeah, because I'm going to live out my life here, as I've said before, and I want to be as open as I can be. I want to be strong Hinata, not weak, frail Hinata. So, I hope you don't mind (and you shouldn't), I'm going to be expecting a kiss everyday."

Naruto smiled widely. "You're greedy too! But, I don't mind those rules. How about I start tomorrow?"

"Or today. Or right now." Hinata added, rolling her eyes cutely. Quickly. Naruto leaned in towards her, his hand resting on hers. His other one was sitting on her arm gently. The kiss was sweet and soft at first, but gradually became more and more passionate. They kissed with fury and stamina, as if to keep going without end. Naruto sat on the bed and held her tight. She threw her arms around his neck and pushed herself closer. Intensity now gathered in the air. Hinata felt nothing other than Naruto's body. If her cancer was causing any damage to her body, she couldn't feel it at all. Naruto clowly climbed up onto the bed and wrapped his arms around her, feeling the arch of her back.

Both of their eyes were closed when things became furiously heated. Naruto's hand had found the slip of her gown, right before the 'crazy' happened. The covers were thrown off the bed, landing quietly on the ground. The two were deep into their excitement when they had reached a point where they no longer held back. No boundaries. Mental, and physical.

When they woke up, Naruto was beside Hinata, holding her around one of his arms still. They had spun a mess in the entire room. The beddings were jumbled, the blanket lay on the floor, their clothing was hanging off the bed. _Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. What did I just do?_

She heard footsteps down the hall.

"Naruto, Naruto!" she shook him awake. He looked tired and worn out, but awoke, nonetheless. He rubbed his eyes and replied with a simple, 'What?' "The nurses, they're coming!" Hinata hissed. Quickly, Naruto dashed off the bed and put on his clothes. Hinata grabbed the hospital down and tied it around herself the best she could. By the time the nurses entered, the room was back to the way it was before.

"Hinata, I see you're up again. Naruto slept soundly with you, I presume?" The nurse had come in after the hoopla.

"I, uh, yes." Hinata turned red.

"It's okay." She said with a smile, "Happens a lot around here." Hinata let out an awkward laugh.

"Naruto, you slept well too?" she turned to him. He nodded briefly and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Alright. Now, Hinata chemotherapy will last from about 9 to 3 for you. We need to get some appointments done first, and some checking of your profile. But we'll get you on track." She spoke in a professional manner. Hinata only nodded, and the nurse left the room.

"Chemo." Naruto whispered. Hinata hissed again.

"Wait, Naruto. What did we just…do?"

"Ah…" Naruto turned crimson. "Well, I think we kind of got carried away…and sorta did…'it.'"

"Oh god. We didn't use anything! No condoms, nothing!" Hinata smacked her head. "I didn't even know I could _do _this in my condition! Oh, whatever. My body can't handle a baby, anyways."

The next few days, Hinata significantly felt worse. Not because of her cancer, but because she was constrained to the bed for long hours. She didn't do the chemotherapy, as Naruto asked. Which, by anybody's standards, made him very frustrated. She did feel bad that he was letting him down, but she knew that chemotherapy wasn't for the better. So, she did as the doctors and nurses told her to do. But, many a time, the nurses or Lady Tsunade would find her reading to the sick children and telling them stories, or perhaps, chatting with the elders, or taking a walk in the fresh air. And in seeing her out, the nurses would bring her back into her room again, to rot. There was never anything on television and nothing to read.

Walking in the pharmaceutical aisles early in the day, she noticed there weren't a lot of people. She could understand, seeing as it was Monday, and people usually went to start up the establishments or the ninja would get new missions to be assigned. She flipped around the Aspirin and section and spotted a pregnancy test. Thinking back, Hinata became worried. She couldn't be pregnant, right?

She asked the pharmacist up front how much she would pay for a pregnancy test.

"Are you sure ma'am? You seem to be a patient." he commented.

"Yes, I am a patient. But it's not for me. It's for a friend. She hasn't had any time to stop by the store because she sees me so often. I've really been a burden. How much would it cost?" Hinata felt odd lying so cruelly, but she didn't want to worry the man.

"It will go on your bill. Let me scan it for you and then you can keep it. Would you like a receipt?" He punched in some numbers on the computer. Hinata nodded.

Hinata quickly brought the package up, before the nurses could spot her. She whizzed to her room and and entered the bathroom. Following the directions, Hinata used the pregnancy test. She waited a few minutes before the screen flashed with an answer.

Negative.

* * *

OH FLARG. FANFICTION IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE. EOFNEBIOAR.

Anyways, I have no idea if you can actually do 'it' (for those of you who prefer I censor) with cancer..

..no, it's not cervical cancer. Or leukemia. That would be stupid of me. ._.

Anyways, I need to sleep. Good night.


End file.
